Conflict Management and Impulsivity

How to 'Pause' the ADHD fight response and avoid the regret of words spoken in the heat of a dopamine-spike.

Words at the Speed of Light

Conflict in an ADHD brain is like a fire in a fireworks factory. Because the Prefrontal Cortex (the brakes) is often slower than the Amygdala (the alarm), we strike back before we even realize we're in a fight.

This leads to the Impulse Strike. You say something cutting, personal, or extreme—not because you believe it, but because your brain chose the most "impactful" weapon in the moment to get a dopamine hit of certainty. 10 minutes later, you are filled with intense shame.

The 'Pause' Protocol: 1. Identify the 'Heat': If your heart is racing, your 'Brakes' are offline. 2. Declare a 'Safe Timeout': Tell your partner: *"I'm getting impulsive. I need 20 minutes to cool down before I say something I'll regret. I'm not leaving you, I'm just parking the car."* 3. The Cooling Rule: Walk, drink water, or listen to music. Do not "rehearse" the argument in your head.